The New York football season is over and pitchers and catchers haven't reported to spring training yet. Since the Knicks blow, lets talk some hockey eh! But instead of me pretending to actually know enough about hockey to intelligently write about it (and since RangersGal is slacking off as of late) lets conduct a fake interview with an Islanders Ice Girl. Disclaimer: I don't know who this girl at all. I'm sure she is a wonderful young women who has a great life and does great things. There is no harm intended by this completely fugazi interview. NYSG: Thanks for doing an interview with NYSS. Islanders Ice Girl: No problem. My friend Louie told me about this site after he typed Jets Suck into google after they lost a few months back.
NYSG: What's your name Islanders Ice Girl?

Islanders Ice Girl: My name is Jenni with an "I"

NYSG: Where are you from?

Jenny: I'm from Mineola Lawng Eyeland. It's in Nassau County, which is the pawt of Lawng Eyeland that is real close to New Yawk. Not like Suffolk where dey graze cows and grow crops and stuff /snaps Dentyne Ice gum loudly

NYSG: Yeah I get it. How is it like being an Islanders Ice Girl? What exactly does your job entail?

Jenny: Oh my GAWD its great. Everybody takes pictures of you and you get paid to skate around and like, pick up ice shreds during TV timeouts. It's pretty easy actually except ya legs get real tired from skatin around and stuff. /gazes at Blackberry, wipes bangs away from face

NYSG: That must be great to be able to skate on the ice. Are you a big Islanders fan?

Jenny: Are you kidding me? Hall YAAA!!! I'm a yuge Islandaaz fan!!! Let's go Islandaaz! I always beep the horn of my red accawd coupe on the Wantagh pawkway afta they like, win and stuff. /Rolls eyes...continue reading

Many, Many More Questions & Answers HERE

Now that the Jets season is over with, Head Coach Rex Ryan has some extra time to take in a different type of violence then he is usually accustomed to - Mixed Marital Arts.

While at an event called Strikeforce in Miami on Saturday, Rex Ryan allegedly had an encounter with a few Dolphins fans while in the arena. The Miami Herald reports that it went a little something like this...

"As he walked by, my friends said, 'Dolphins rule, Jets suck! " (The guy who snapped the picture above said in an e-mail.) "He (Ryan) turned around and said, 'Go f--k yourself!' There were others screaming things at him, which is why he flicked everybody off. That's when I snapped the pic."

How sweet is that? This will undoubtedly add morel fuel to the "I hate Rex Ryan because he doesn't give a flying fuck bandwagon" reserved by the fans of teams that lost to the Jets and the overall hating public.

Ryan has since given his cookie cutter apology...

"It was stupid and inappropriate,"Ryan said in a statement released by the Jets. "I wouldn’t accept that type of behavior from one of the coaches or players and it’s unacceptable from me. I apologize to the Jets organization, the National Football League and NFL fans everywhere."

Although stupid and inappropriate, it is also candid and unfettered. This is why Jets fans are enamored with this guy. He says and does what he pleases and you have to respect that...at least as he keeps on winning and improving the team.

Here is a Video of Rex getting interviewed at halftime or whatever they call it in MMA. He has some more choice words and a bold 2010 season prediction as well.

Head Nod to Armando Salguero at the Miami Herald
Tracklink/Comment

Wait, is that? Hold on...Is that a Knicks advertisement on the top of this page? Wait...HAHAHAHAHA! IS THAT CHRIS DUHON ON AN ONLINE BANNER AD? HAHAHAHA! It is isn't it! What is this an ad actually for anyway? Oh, its for Knicks tickets. Damn they can't sell shit for tickets anymore can they. Charles Oakley disapproves of this somewhere as I think about this in my head because it is a internal monologue remember.

What's today date? It's January 19th and three of the dates on the ad are for games that already occurred. Well since they are featuring New York NBA MEGASTAR and MVP Candidate Chris Duhon, I will look at his stats for these last couple of games and see what kind of numbers he put up. If they are respectable, then I will click on that ad and consider buying some shitty Knicks tickets.

Duhon's last game vs. the Pistons. Zero points, four turnovers and 5 assists. Holy shit that is awful. Ok maybe he had a bad game. Anyone can have an off night, right? He is the starter so he's gotta put up a better line then that. Ok the game before that, lets see here...vs. Detroit again, he got a whopping Zero points again! What the fuck! HAHAHA! And another 4 turnovers to top that shit off. You know, he probably isn't even playing 10 minutes a game....Wait! 20 minutes a game he played! This guy is a bum ass Blue Devil even more then Josh McRoberts 45 years from now.

You know I shouldn't be so hard on the guy. I mean, so what he misses more layups then a 8th grade all girls school intramural bench warmer. It is reasonable to believe that Duhon could have had 2 bad games in a row. Maybe he had a nagging injury or had a tough time playing the same team twice. Lets look at one more game and if he even got 10 points then I will at least go on Craigslist and see what people are selling tickets for after I browse the missed connections section for a few minutes first.

Alright, let's see vs. the Raptors. 4 rebounds, ok not bad for a point guard. 6 dimes, serviceable..and a monumental 4 POINTS HAHAHAHA! Christ our savior has blessed thy Chris Duhon the Lord of the Holy Hardwood by allowing him to score 4 TOTAL POINTS IN 3 GAMES! What a joke! Ok, time for Redtube then bed. Comment on how dumb this is

This will be remembered to be one of the greatest seasons in Jets history. Not only because this team advanced in the playoffs deeper then they have since 1998 or because they were 7-2 in their last 9 games. It was a great season because they finally assumed an identity.

An identity that a Jets fan can identify with and be proud of.

A defense first, hard nosed, and aggressive team that overachieved and at times showed flashes of greatness.

A team that didn't back down and that had the confidence to beat anyone.

It was a fantastic year and I enjoyed watching my team play for 18 weeks. As Bill Parcells said, "If you aren't getting better you are getting worse". Of course there are holes to fill and improvements to be made. They need another corner back to compliment Revis, a right tackle to eventually supplant old timer Damien Woody, and most of all find an effective 3-4 pass rusher. A position that is not easy to fill.

The Jets lost to a better team that deserved to win more then they did and that's the way it goes sometimes. However for once, Jets fans can be satisfied with how the season ceased and be confident going into next knowing that they have a great chance to create some ripples in the proverbial ocean that is the NFL. When you have a core of coach, QB, and RB like Ryan, Sanchez, and Greene. You have a legitimate reason to think that you have a chance to win more games then you'll lose in the years to come. We all know how quickly things can change in this league and especially in this city, but that is about as solid as a core you can hope for and as luminous as a light you can see at the end of the tunnel.

As a sports fan, I thirst for the opportunity for my teams to play on the biggest stage and to end on top. As a Jets fan I crave to be compensated for all my years upon tumultuous years of fan hood with a Super Bowl title or even AFC Championship.

I can compare the feeling of the Jets faltering to the Colts with the image of a blank stare at a curve ball gliding over a plate. When the Mets Carlos Beltran watched strike three in Game 7 of the National League championship in 2006, I was just as devastated. These are tied for #2 on my all time list of heartache after my team came that close to doing something special. What is 1st of all time? Knicks Game 7 1994 vs the Rockets. I smashed my bunk bed to pieces after that one. A badge of honor it was not. A symbol of absurdity it was. The reason why I have written hundreds of articles it is and one day it will all be worth it.

I hope everyone enjoyed my weekly 5 Keys feature this year and I look forward to putting my readers through a similar excruciating circumstances again next season. J_E_T_S JETS JETS JETS

Some Quick Thoughts - That apple that girl is going to eat is filthy after being in Mookies glove.

- They are stretching their necks in the woods. WTF

- That smoking scene precisely depicts the moment I began to smoke...meandering around Shea stadium in a full out Mets pinstripe uni. I should have denied the cigarette like those children did. SonOfaBitch!

- That guy in a lab coats glasses are actually trendy in NYC right now

- When Mookie's eyes are bugging out, and Gary's teeth are grinding. it doesn't mean they are acting silly. It means that are extremely high on cocaine.

- In fact, I'm pretty sure that guy in a lab coat is a drug dealer actually.

Head Nod to TheBigLead for the discovery and the Found Footage Fest. Comment/Tracklink